Tuesday, 4 August 2015

If I didn't comment on this you would be wondering why not wouldn't you....

'A Very British Brothel', Channel 4 Documentary on last night's telly, showcased the City Sauna in Attercliffe Road in Sheffield.  It was an honest portrayal of a parlour in my opinion.

Here's one clip.  I'll try and find another.  I think this clip sort of sums the programme up though.

You get the feel of the area, the premises, and the people who go there - both the ladies and the customers.  All that is except George McCoy the albatross of the industry who goes around parlours trying to get freebies in exchange for 'a mention in his 'book'.  Oh yeah..

Don't you dare to look down upon them !  I mean it.  Do not dare.  Do not come on here and be pompous  and tell yourself that you are any better than any of those people.

I had a close friend who ran a brothel in Leeds.
Sharon from 'Sensations' was the salt of this earth, and I met her through a sex forum called the WYSG.
You have to join up to read the contents though.
For quite some time I was a member on there and so was she.  Her parlour was  a well run, well known and much loved premises in Leeds on the Kirkstall road, above a sandwich shop.
It had a large 'S' in the window and you entered the place discreetly by going through a door at the back, and up the stairs where you were met by the smiling face belonging to nicest and friendliest lady I have ever known.

Her living room was the waiting room and the girls sat in there along with the clients.

Sharon's girls were a mix of younger and older British ladies,  generally slim and tidy figured, and Leeds lasses through and through.  She would not employ Eastern Europeans because along with the girls came the pimps and the dealers.  She said they were nothing but trouble.

When I got to know her she was going through 'the change' so invariably she would be in a state of semi undress due to the hot flushes !  Sometimes she was in a slip.  She had a Rottweiler dog called Molly who some clients were afraid of.  She was okay though, if you gave her Maltesers !

One of the most popular girls in Leeds worked there for Sharon.  Men queued up for Lucy.  She was the 'girl next door'.  People (pimps) tried to entice her away from there saying she could do better, but she loved 'Sensations' and was cared for by Sharon who was like a mother to her.

Sharon mothered all her girls.  She helped them with their problems, and boy they did have them.

Sharon could somehow sort out their housing, and their money, and their health issues.  She got them all an accountant.  They all paid tax and N.Ins.  She only took a door fee from the men, and nothing from the girls except for money towards the upkeep of the parlour.  The laundry the towels etc etc

She did not make a lot of money from the parlour, but she made a living out of it, and importantly, she provided the girls who worked there with security and a sense of 'family', which a lot of them did not have.

Sharon worked closely with Genesis  a support agency for sex workers in Leeds.  They would sometimes ask Sharon to take the odd girl in who needed extra support because they knew the calibre of the woman.  And she took girls in in droves.  Some of them stayed but most of them moved from parlour to parlour, a bit like the girls who worked for the agencies.  They called them 'agency hoppers', often taking fees with them as they disappeared !

When I saw this programme it reminded me so much of Sharon I felt weepy.

Sensations was busted by the police and shut down.  It was a sad day when this happened, and what the police did was cruel and degrading to all.  They brought TV cameras with them and filmed the  staff being brought out of there, handcuffed. They also lied and said people had made complaints.

When Sharon went to court, she took a massive pile of letters from everyone in the area who said they had no problem with any of it, and that Sharon was a decent lady, and that they actually supported her.  I was there, and saw how kindly the judge looked upon her, but..  Leeds policy on brothels and parlours was to make it  a no tolerance zone so his hands were tied and he gave the minimum sentence of community service - a slap on the wrist.

What they did was to take my friend's livelihood away and that of her girls.  They also took the money for the tax bill which they found when they ransacked the place.  The injustice of it all makes me very angry indeed.  They destroyed her.

Sadly, Sharon died three years ago, and this programme brought all of it back last night.  I was heartbroken when my friend passed away and miss her every day.

This morning I read the forums.  I read the rude and disgusting comments made by both working girls and men regarding the ladies in City Sana and their clients.

I say to them and especially to the ladies who were less than gracious, that we all do the same job, no matter who we are, no matter what we look like, what walk of life we come from, none of us prostitutes are any different to them.  We all suck cock and wank men off for a living.  A little harsh for your delicate constitution perhaps?  Go and sit down and have a biscuit then.  No need for snobbery when you do the same thing, no matter what the postcode may be.

I noted the comments made by one vociferous 'lady' from Newcastle.  A lady in her late sixties no less, slagging the girls in that parlour off.  How dare you!  You pompous old bag.  You really ought to know better at your great age. At least they know how to have a laugh and unlike you, I did not see any of them judging other ladies in the business.

I noted another particularly loudmouthed character, a self appointed  ambassador for the industry doing a week's 'tour' of the premises... oh yeah.. pull the other one dear !  Obviously this was a publicity stunt, and probably/possibly even, the main reason why she graced their premises with her own inflated egho and self perceived fame (for the TV programme only)but I take my hat off to her for doing this and showing the rest of the snobs making comments that  there is no difference in any of us.  We are all doing the same thing... for money.

For once, personal dislike of you aside, I take my hat off and applaud you.
I know you used City Sauna purely for your own personal gain though which is a mean thing to do furthering your own career at the expense of those girls.

However, since I am not you I say walk a mile in those granny shoes eh?   When did stilettos stop being de rigueur................
I'll pass, but good on you for showing your face and body, and shoes on there.  Very brave and foolhardy perhaps?  In retrospect???   Best of  luck with that one.

How dare the rest of the industry look down on those people. How dare members of the industry who should know better think they could use them to further their own personal agenda??  That makes me so angry.

 I'm nothing short of disgusted with you all, and for all of the men who say they wouldn't, well let me tell you,the carpet on the stairs up to 'Sensations'  was threadbare dear.  Threadbare


Friday, 31 July 2015

Sex Work

If you do anything to make a living it has to have a title doesn't it?

If you act you are an 'actress' or an 'actor'

If you are a complete and utter liar and a cheat then you are a 'politician', or even a 'policeman'.. actually that list is endless and it's not fair on the few who are honest, but hey...  they call prostitutes all sorts of things don't they?

If you work in the  sex industry you are a sex worker.. No?

Some people seem to think they are above being called a sex worker.. say for example a dominatrix or a pole dancer or a masseuse  ( the happy ending type :)

Of course it is sex work if your aim is to provide  another human being with some form of sexual satisfaction whether or not you end up having sex.  If it about sex, and you are being paid to do it then of course it is sex work   So if someone's daughter is "doing a bit of lap dancing", she ain't no better or worse than I, bar the honesty part :)

Of all the things one can get up to, unless the participants are totally into one another I would say the act of copulation is the most boring of all anyway  (no pun intended but hey! :)........  It's the titillation that turns the guy on, and gets him horny in the first place, the visuals, the girl, her body , and then comes the sex or the thought of it.

When I began I did not even think about naming what I did.  I knew it was wrong, and that was the lure for me.  The knowing that my friends would be shocked and disgusted was a massive turn on.

It was only when I discovered the message forums that I realised we all had names   all of us even the men!

Some names are acceptable to some and not to others - so what?

Sex work, Service Provider, Prostitute, Escort......  ugh  hate that one..  or Call Girl etc etc.. is only work if you consider it to be so.

When I read the news items on the Internet and the comments made by readers, I am quite saddened by some of the awful misinformed things they say about ladies like me, but then I suppose we get what we deserve when some ladies make bad decisions, such as sell a guy to the highest bidder.. then we are all lumped in and called the lowest of the low...........

Its enough for me to know I am not !  I am far worse than that !  Filthy actually :)

I also know that women who have never been a sex worker do not understand women who are.  Women like me who are not out there to rip a guy off, are a world apart from the women who only do this for the money end of.

I have clients whom I look forward to seeing.  I'm seeing one of them tomorrow in fact.

Don't tar us all with the same brush when you have no idea of who we are is what I say.  and please don't insult my intelligence by telling  me I do not enjoy my 'work' when you have nothing to base your opinion on.  Just because you don't happen to like sex, please don't think I am the same.

I do not say anything bad about any other woman as I do not feel I have the right to, especially if I am giving her husband something he wants.. I could... but then wouldn't I be equally as bad as the woman who slags me off?  I don't go there.  It's pointless and stupid to talk about an anonymous person you do not even know.

We are not all the same.  You live your life and I'll enjoy mine ;)

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

God Bless Obama's America. Oh the shame of it.

When Barack Obama was elected as President of The United States of America, one would assume that it meant all of the States.

When he was elected I  clearly emember the joy, the  hysteria, and the jubilation, and the anticipation that he would deliver what no other President had done and that was Hope for black people.

I remember Obama-mania.  There was a really cool flashing emoticon for websites which seems to have disappeared.  I think Obama-mania has also disappeared,   It didn't take long .

He didn't quite deliver did he?  I'm struggling to think what Barack Obama will be remembered for apart from the taking out of Osama Bin Laden,
I would be interested to know what has he done for black people?

Has he stopped any of the extreme racism in certain states? Has he even tried??

Has he done anything for the poverty/inequality situation for black people in America?

It seems some Texas State Troopers have carried on regardless despite having a black President !

When I saw the footage of one Texas State Trooper's behaviour towards Sandra Bland I was shocked to the core.

An innocent woman going about her business ends up dead in a prison cell for what?  Pulling over to allow  him pass  by and forgetting to indicate?
Or for being black  I wonder.

. Have you seen this video of her arrest and the treatment  she received at the hands of this animal? Did you see the tazer?  Did you see him pointing it directly at her?

Did you see the mug shot they took.  Do you think she is dead in this photograph ?

They say she hanged herself in her cell.. for a traffic violation?  If she did, where are the marks on her neck?

So given that this actually happened, is this the America that Obama will be handing back when he leaves office, and what has changed for black people?

Do you think they expected anything to change, or like me do you think they thought he might actully physically show support for black people in America regarding human rights.

Do you, like me, think the situation regarding human rights for black people has degenerated?

Will he feel impotent do you think?  Will he feel used?  Will he feel that he did enough? Will he even care?  Will he feel relieved?

It is my guess that he has only been a  token black President and has feathered his nest enough to provide the best for his own family.  
His  own family.

They say charity begins at home.  Looks like he took it literally.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

It's all a question of Extreme Double Standards

We read with shock and horror, the scandalous story of what happened  during a 'romp' between  Baron John Sewel and two £200 an hour prostitutes at his London flat. in Dolphin Square Pimlico, a couple of miles from Parliament.

We also read that he  has now had to resign from his post as Deputy Speaker and chairman of committees at the House of Lords ..  presumably for his disgraceful behaviour.

I don't give a fig about him, I don't care if he likes snorting coke with prostitutes, I don't care what he does in his private life so long as it does not involve torturing little children and having sex with them against their will like his mate Greville Lord Janner who apparently is still a member of the House of Lords,  even more amazingly -still collecting his fees.

Now here is a real criminal.  Janner should have been hung drawn and quartered for what he did to children, and instead, all they do say is he now has Dementia, and has most conveniently signed over all of his properties to his children, presumably to avoid having his assets seized in the event of a conviction, even though he has Dementia !  You really could not make it up :)

Lord Janner the only man in the UK with Dementia who still has power of attorney !

To the young people whose lies he ruined this must be an awful slap in the face.  To those of us who read and hear of what he did, it comes as no surprise that he continues to live a privileged existence getting off scot free because  the establishment looks after such men.

One wonders why?  Would it be because there are countless others equally as bad as he ?  Looks like Jimmy Saville had the lot of them on 'lockdown'.

I am not a fan of Lord Sewel.  I don't even know who he is.  He does not figure in my life, except that I learn he likes seeing prostitutes and snorting coke?  So what's new?  He is not unique !

I am disgusted by the actions of the prostitutes themselves.  I wonder what they were paid to film and photograph him snorting coke and having private adult fun for which he paid., and as it happens has paid dearly.

£200 an hour in London is not top dollar.  He might have been better served had he seen a lady with class, and for that you have to pay.

These woman were cheap.   Their actions  wilful and pre-meditated, and if it comes out who they are (and I do hope so), I don't rate their chances of continuing in this line of work :)

I despise skanky women like these - you may have guessed that much.  They bring ladies like me into disrepute.  I also despise any other prostitute who thinks it is okay for other ladies to behave like this.

 The client pays for discretion.  These women were not professional and they clearly were relishing the payout from the highest bidding news rag they sold him out to.  Must have been all of £10,000.   Wow!    (not)

It is his wife I feel the most sorry for.  She did nothing wrong to deserve any of this.    This is why men pay for sex - so they can be confident that the women they see will not say anything to anyone.

When a man pays me for sex, he is ensuring his private life stays private.

When a man pays some cheap hooker for sex and he has a high profile position, situations like this can and do happen when the payout from the newspapers is too good to miss.

Should have gone to spec savers...  should have gone to a high class agency where discretion is guaranteed, or should have gone to a decent indie like me who respects his privacy, his marriage, his wife, but above all respects herself.

What a poor show, and what a damning indictment of this industry.. again.

As an afterthought - posted Monday (next day - not sure how it will show up date wise here) I would like to say that I m proud of being me, and if being a Prostitute is being me then I am proud of that.

Those women do not deserve to be called Prostitutes.  They bring the rest of us who do our business in an honest way right down to the gutter, and it is women like this who keep us there.

And one more thing - I note the other prostitutes who love the press - aka twitter, are slating this Sewel guy, but not saying anything about these trashy women.  Mates of theirs eh?

It ain't double standards.. it's more a case of two facedness.

I have a piece of advice for any man who sees prostitutes.  Make sure they are not filming you.

Friday, 24 July 2015

And this one's for the Punter to have a larf at himself.. asssuming punters have a sense of humour, or even any sense :)

..Which I doubt, as punting is never sensible is it?

As a sort of guide to successful and happy punting, I have taken the liberty of compiling a list of dos and don'ts for punters.  What's good for the goose is good for the gander )

Please - it's all written in fun.. tongue in cheek, and not to be taken too seriously, but, be aware that there is a touch or more of irony involved since some of the things I mention are actually what goes on in some parts...  it has been said)

So here it is.. The Ten Commandments of punting for guys..............

1.   Please brush your teeth before you arrive at mine, I have seen guys who if they cleaned one tooth up, would qualify for a snooker set.
Nobody likes 'greenies' and I am talking about your choppers mate.

2.  It's no use showering if you put the same underpants and socks back on dear.  You have to be more creative here. Similarly, if you take a shower at mine, it's amazing how much better it is if you actually do use the soap.............  and rub it in...  all over..

3.  Should you sit on my sofa or bed with your bare arse, and leave a shite stain when you get up,, do not be afraid to 'man up' and own that skid mark.  Don't ignore the elephant in the room'.  Don't be a stranger to soap.  Admit to that skidder and apologise, and then tell me you showered before you got here..  or even this week :)

4.  I'm not a fan of 'chin pie'.  Have a shave this morning with your shower.  I know..  it's a lot to ask....  I'll be asking you to make sure your fingernails are clean and filed next.. what is the world coming to eh?.  I've heard that bathrooms are good places for for personal grooming,

5. We all know condoms are not exactly a passion enhancer.  Don't press the point home because you really want to fuck without one.  Don't tell us "I only see you", and it will be safe...  we've all heard that one )

6.  Don't turn up at mine and tell me you just ate garlic and assume I will be okey dokey  about it, because I won't.  It will revolt me and I will not want to kiss.. but hey - it's your money.  Reserve the garlic breath for the person who never kisses you anyway...........   think about that then !

Garlic breath = bad service - buyers remorse = you only have yourself to blame  *Smile*

7.  Don't tell me about what other ladies do for you and expect me to do the same or more than them. Don't tell me I should be paying you either.. that one never goes down well, or that other ladies have told you that you could be a male escort.  The clue is in the word 'could'....  not 'should'.
We can all spot a liar, and desperate ones are even easier to work out )  No I'm not going to cook you dinner, bake a cake,  or let you stay all day for the price of one hour, even if you are better value than me :)

8.  When you take a shower, please don't piss on my shower curtain there's a good boy.  Would you do that at home?...  Are you a dog?

9.  Don't turn up for an hour fully intending to stay for as long as you can eake things out.  Have some decorum, and leave before I nod off.  A good tip for you.. If I start banging my head on the wall or my eyes have glazed over - it's time to leave, brother :)

10. Don't play about with the fee, asking me if I am worth it and dangle it about.  Don't tell me you'll pay me if you think I was worth it.  Don't switch twenty pound notes for tenners and hand me a bundle as you leave, and upon leaving don't take a shit and forget to flush.

The ten commandments are loosely based on bad client attitude/behaviour.  I have more instances...  such as the old squirting myth.  I don't squirt so don't try nd make me.  I will not have drunk gallons of water prior to our meet so unless you re highly skilled in that area, I will not piss to order.

If you are reading this and are even mildly guilty of any of the above offences, then you ought to be shot.

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

I'm taking a poke at this industry... I'm having a larf.........

Have you ever looked up the correct definition of the word 'industry'?

Take a look, and then apply it to the oldest profession... and then ask yourself why they call it 'the sex industry !

Not very industrious are we?  Not unless we are trafficked, pimped or working in some sweat shop parlour somewhere, and that's for sure !

I'm not industrial at all.., not these days at any rate...  I spend more time on my back on a beach sun woshipping, or...... if I have had one G&T too many in the interim - star gazing :)

How can they call it an industry when there is no legislation, no work practice rules and regs, no code of ethics and definitely no public liability insurance should an unfortunate client happento slip  in the shower, or gets damaged during a 'toothy blowjob'

Just thank your lucky stars she didn't give you a  Louis XVI

You get nothing for two in a bed  cramp in this game and no - yer money's not safe :)

OH CRIPES !  maybe I should include that  Louis thing in my profile... (it would  frighten the wankers off :)  Personally speaking I'd rather do a 'Marie Antoinette ' and eat cake whilst being licked...

Anyway moving swiftly along....   dispatching a cock head is not in my list of 'likes'... thinking about it, I would hazard a guess that most working girls don't have many 'likes ' apart from taking the money and buying shoes with it :)


There are no guidelines, no morals  (what on earth are they)  and no sense of any professionalism to help anyone.
It's a 'make it all up as you go along' kinda thing, and you - yes YOU the dullible punter  (yeah you read it right.  It's a combo of dull and gullible)    has to trust that the lady you see will look after you, and me being  the lady you probably won't ever see on account of the fact that I am probably too big for you, too old and actually has a brain..........  might even like you :)

*sticks tongue out*

In the light of all this new information  I have decided to compile a list of dos and don'ts for service providers  to adhere to in order to hopefully have more satisfactory punts and mutual enjoyment of this very important (to some) activity of the adult sort

"this is sex Jim but not as we know it"
Ah yes.. Spock knew his  Jizz   stuff.   He must have been to see me, and upon thinking about it,  I have met  a few Spock lookalikes.  I've also met a few Quasimodo lookalikes too, and Incredible Hulks...  yessss........  *coughs violently*

Here is the list of 'loose rules for prossies'  Let's call it 'The Ten Commandments of Punting'

1.  Always use a condom unless you are a barebacker

2. Always tell your client you are about to slide on his bare cock before you do it

3. Don't shag if you have an STD

4. ...Don't actually work if you have an STD

5.  Don't eat garlic prior to snogging

6. Shower at least once in the day and if you have to wipe 'it' with kitchen roll remember to use 'one sheet of plenty'.   The Asda stuff just doesn't cut it.  Actually it probably would...  cut... it... into shreds.

7.  Try not to rim the previous client if the next one is a fan of DFK...  that's deep french kissing to you novices  *taps nose*

8.  If you must 'gob' on his cock.. ( that's for the PSE)   do make sure it isn't green

9.  Don't call him by your pimps / mother's new partner's / husband's / son's /dad's or the dog's name when he is giving head.  He really  doesn't need to hear 'Rover' as his tongue connects with your finer feelings

10.  Don't tell him he is a good shag for an ugly fucker.. Remember he is paying you dearly dear, and you mght not ever want to see his ugly mug ever agin.. but you do want him to return because an ugly bloke in your bush is better than a good looking fucker in some other bird's muff.

Thank you for reading.  Don't come back :)


The Ombudswoman.

Sunday, 19 July 2015

Come on, let's be adult about this

Once upon a time there was adult fun of the more discreet sort.  It has gained momentum as technology has developed into the fingertip communication we have today.

When I started out I was working for agencies.  I gave them my 'phone number and they called me for work they got from a newspaper advert.

The men I saw had no idea what I would be like other than a 'suit you sir' description by the operator.

When they saw me they had usually asked for one or more of the following:-

A brunette

A busty brunette

Someone nice with big boobs  *smile*

A nice lady

Someone tall with big boobs

Someone not fat

It was discreet but obviously  open for manipulation :)

The agency I worked for would tell the men that they had fifty ladies on their books when they probably had about twelve at best, and on any night only a few would be physically available for out call visits to clients.

And of those, only some were 'fit' to be sent to hotels :)  As quoted by the owner.

",,Can you go to the Hilton when you come out of the Malmaison.. He's asking for a brunette with big boobs and I can't send XXX - she's not fit to be sent to an hotel...  I can send her to houses but not to walk into an hotel""

So in effect the guy would be sent someone he had not asked for, and since there were no photos anyway, what did it matter?

I would have several names and an age and bust/dress size range too.  I would be sent out from late twenties to late forties.  This made me realise one or two things - that men have no concept of body size and little concept of age either !

Nobody ever sent me away, and most of them asked for me to go back, unless she had really pushed in with the age, and they only wanted younger ladies (which I was not )

Then we got into photos and an Internet presence.  Of course we were ripped off.  We had a poxy site, and had to pay £50 a month to the guy who also took the photos.  
...So we paid him to construct the site  (about £250)  and then pay for the photos which he had copyright over and funnily omitted to tell us this little gem.
He used my photos in particular and those of a blonde skinny girl for other sites he built and once I had to ask a parlour to stop using my pics on their site advertising one of their girls!  

He did not update the agency site.  Girls would come and go in those days running off with agency fees or be sacked for being useless.  We needed new pics uploading and old ones removing so the punters would know who to ask for.
He moaned when he didn't get his money and threatened to pull the plug all of the time.  However, I now had photos and the agency 'phone rang off the hook.

That's progress for you :)

Moving very swiftly along to now, and how things have changed.  We can all have our own sites now and it costs very little to have a half decent site, and it costs nothing to be on a larger directory.

The lies don't stop though.  The girls still lie on their sites just like the agency boss did.  Agencies are much more polished now, and operate on a more user friendly basis but the photos will be shopped tot the hilt, and so the lies do continue.  The punter can make more informed choices now, and 'The Punter' has become more discerning, more choosy and more picky.

There is always a drawback, even when you get more, you can become very awkward thinking you are King just because you have a keyboard, and are deluded :).

'The prostitute'   now has more power to have complete control over her marketing, and if you are like me, nobody tells you what to do unless it has been agreed and he is paying for that privilege :)

And I don't............  and won't..........

But the one thing which I see all of the time now, is Twitter.  I see ladies using it to tell the world they love kittens and small furry animals, and that they are busy..........  yeah..

How can you be busy when you are on Twitter all day and all night long, and  more importantly why would you want the world to know  that you like eating Twix dipped in tea , or you have just taken a dump this week, and you are officially a legend in your own head?
If this is progress, I am officially opting out.

I think it is still as hard for a punter to find the right lady even though he has lots more info at his fingertips.  Progress does not necessarily mean better !