Sunday, 24 May 2015

What does a high class hooker look like then?

I really have no idea !

I'm not high class.  I could not and would never call myself a courtesan since I speak English and a teensy weensy bit of conversational French...  and of course the other language - pillow talk, but that would not be enuff to turn me into a posh courtesan

I did not go to University since I trained as I was working, and by then it was unnecessary to do any more, and anyway I got on with other things, so again, this does not qualify me to call myself anything other than ...a woman actually :)

I have standards though.. oh yes.. I provide glasses for the wine, and conviviality as well as the mucky stuff, and that comes in spades.

I was reading some guff on a forum about what we ladies spend our money on - and what the 'high class' ladies spend it on.

Some of them buy shoes and handbags, and little dogs, and nice cars.  They go to the tanning salon, and they get their hair extended, and they have gorgeous eyebrows and nails don't they?

Well that's all well and good for some, but I don't have the time for all of that pampering.  Who am I kidding?  Course I do.  I'm getting my eyebrows done permanently.  I can't wait.  I'll look like one of those Essex gels, but with a Yorkshire accent.  Now there's a novelty.
I do think though, that you can't buy 'class' whatever it is.

I also think that some men want to see a lady wearing these shoes..  they want to see a tan and make-up.  They want nice lingerie, and they want a sexy women inside of all this.  If the woman is not sexy then all the make-up in the world won't cut it.  If she is, then that is fab.

High class?  Who cares?  I bloody well don't :)

I would love a pair of Louboutin shoes but then again, I wouldn't and I'll tell you why.

1.  I would not be able to walk in them
2. My daughter would wear them more than me.

They are gorgeous though aren't they?  I have tried some on and it caused my family to laugh a lot.  I must have looked a proper bugger then :(

I do own a stonking pair of walking /gardening boots.  They look fab with shorts:)

These high class ladies also like drinking champagne.. well so does this girl.  I like nice things just like everyone else does, and I think seeing a lady like me for a man is just like having a nice thing.  Look upon me as a special treat, and look forward to seeing me and be nice to me and I'll reciprocate a thousand times over.

Handbags?? I've got lots of them, and I adore them.  I have so many now I need never buy another, but I might.............

I do have a little dog so I will hold my hand up to that one, and I get my nails done, and my hair, (although at the minute I look like a weasel peeping out of a toilet brush as my fringe needs chopping)  and I do have a tan, but that one is real and home grown outdoors.

I live a charmed life and I'll be the first to admit it.

I have time to look after my home, look after my family, walk my dogs and work if you can call having fun 'work'.   It might not be a high class lifestyle, but it makes me happy.  A happy hooker is a happy service provider if you catch my drift :)

Every girl deserves a little pampering, and I will never regret spending any money on a whim, but the 'whim' usually has my daughter's name on it :)

Your whim could have my name on it.. you never know until you try do you?


To those miserable old buggers who shake their heads at anyone who likes having fun and living life to the full, I say...  you can't take your money with you when you die you old skinflint.   There are no pockets in a shroud. :)

Now.. as for the nice car... hmmm................

Friday, 22 May 2015

The male escort v his female equivalent

I was  watching the 'Loose Women' programme on the TV as I ate my lunch, and today they were discussing male escorts.  They were asking people what they thought of ladies who hire male escorts and do you know, it  caused a lot of laughter.
They did not call the men 'tarts', and apparently according to a 'friend of a friend', one such male escort is extremely busy with lots of 30 minute appointments.  I wonder what he is doing?
I know what I as a female client would be asking for  :)  Thirty minutes is not a very long time.  Ha ha!

They  also discussed women who actually enjoy sex as if they are another species!
How very dare we :)
One of the ladies said the women who say they like sex won't actually mean it.  Eh?  What's the point of that then?  Is there an unwritten rule that when you get past your thirties that you are wrong in the head if you enjoy sex or admit to it?  *scratches head*

Now place the boot on the other foot and talk about women like me  who are prostitutes and please take note;  the use of the word 'prostitute' was not  used once when referring to the males :)  Well they have discussed prostitution on this programme and boy oh boy did they rip into us.  It seems that men can do it and it is fun but if women do it we are somehow letting the side down..........  by being sad, damaged, drug infested disease ridden whatever....  we've heard it all before.  Water off a ducks etc etc...

Earlier this year I went on holiday to a resort in Spain where you can amble along to the old part of the town and discover pretty little streets with quaint architecture.  There are smart little shops and there are lots of cafes with tables outside.   You can eat sardines or that ham off the bone whatever it is called  (I don't eat meat), or you can sit and enjoy coffee, cakes or a glass of vino. There are some very exclusive hotels here, and the clientele seem to be older and wealthy.

As my friend and I were enjoying our coffees at  one of these cafes, we saw more than one very elderly lady who was literally dripping with diamond jewellery.  All of these ladies were openly displaying their wealth sporting those designer bags which cost thousands of pounds.  We identified one such bag and if it were mine I would not dare take the damn thing out of the house, it was so valuable.
With  immaculate hair and nails and of course the obligatory best in Italian designer clothes, these ladies attracted attention from the passers by.  Whiling away their time with a coffee, and then back to the hotel for luncheon, no doubt.

One lady in particular caught my eye because of her companion, a younger man - possibly in his forties in shorts and a T shirt, sporting a designer tan.
It was patently obvious that he was a paid-for companion and  I rather think she wanted people to know this!   Good for her ! He was reading a paper and she was sitting there with her coffee and she kept making little quips at which they both smiled.  Of course they knew they were being observed, glanced at or just plain stared at and she was clearly enjoying the whole thing.

Her age?    What does her age matter?  We as a society seem to be obsessed with age.  No matter what you hear or read about a person age has to be reported as it seems to be some sort of defining factor.  She looked as if she were in her seventies or eighties.  Who knows?  Who cares?  She was having a ball.

Would he be fucking her?  For a fee, anything is possible, yes?  With a little or a lot of help from a blue pill probably, maybe, maybe not.

Turn the situation around to an older man with a young girl and he would be instantly deemed a dirty old git, and she a tart!

Recently some people in the Internet tried to have a go at me by insinuating that I am older than the age I give on my Adultwork profile  *smiles *

Of course I am older than 37 !  Quite a lot older actually :)  It hurt that someone would want to be so catty, and it hurt even more that they said I was even older than I am..  That was the bit I kicked off over, but then I was dishonest on the AW site so I probably deserved all of it.

So the general consensus of opinion seems to be and in nor particular order.. that...

1.   A male escort is a bit of fun and good luck to him if he can get it !

2.   Women over about thirty ish do not like sex and lie saying they do

3.   Women who sell their bodies for sex are looked down on and even older ones like myself are sad.

Oh dear.

Talk about double standards.  So if No 2. is correct who is hiring the busy male escort then?

Some women do like sex.  *holds hand up*  Some women do like male company.  Some women adore it knowing they are turning a man on.  Some women like me who do this thing for a living adore the fact that they get paid to have fun, and be turned on by a man eager to please them.

We are not all the same.  And age is just a number.

I have a significant birthday coming up this week.  Last week I got an invite for my first mammogram.  It can only get better from here on :)


Saturday, 16 May 2015

Laugh? Ya couldn't make this one up !

I was shopping in my local ASDA the other day.  I like ASDA for two reasons.  One - it is fairly close to where I live.  I can get in my car and nip to ASDA in the same way that I could nip to a corner shop.

Two - I am familiar with the place.  I like the layout, and it sells up to date things such as the JML cat scratching unit advertised on the TV the night before - I went in next day and bought one.

Actually - three...  they sell everything I need including clothes.  The blouses for summer and the little cut off jeans are really nice and as good as anything I can buy in town  (Leeds)

So it's hats off to ASDA then?

No it bloody is not.

I did my shopping. My family like those Capri-Sun drinks.  They fit nicely into lunch boxes.  I saw two for £5.  I was only going to buy one but the offer was there and I buy them anyway....

On my way out of the shop I could not avoid this skip-like container right next to the checkouts  which you have to walk past in order to leave.  It had a placard on the top entitled 'FOOD BANK'.

Instantly I placed the extra Capri-Sun box I purchased not  two minutes before.  I didn't think twice about it. I had only gone in for one or two things so there was nothing else in my trolley extra to my needs.

I walked to the car and the frown started ...  donations for a food bank in the very shop where I buy my food?????  IN ASDA  who make millions and millions of wongas every day??

They actually placed a food bank donation skip next to the checkouts.

I ask myself.. shouldn't they be be making all of the donations?  Aren't they the food people?  Isn't it their duty to supply food banks with everything people need - I mean, don't... they.... make.... enough... money.... out of the rest of us??

Like I said.. you couldn't make it up/  If you did, your mind would be warped.

Friday, 15 May 2015

This was so nice.

I got on the bus the other day.   I do this from time to time.  I try not to do it too much,but I realise the value of public transport when you need it :)

 Anyway it was quite full and each seat seemed to have one resident, so I quickly decided which was the 'safest' seat to take assuming the other occupant is not some raving lunatic.  The first seat was not for the taking.  The man sitting on it was scruffy and he was very peculiar to look at.  This was of course in the blink of an eye.. and I decide to sit next to someone - anyone else when he said

"You can sit here if you wish"

It was an offer I could not refuse.  I assume the other folk on the bus had all given the gentleman a wide berth and I felt slightly ashamed.

I sat next to him.  He said to me "You're quite alright, I only have a duck in my trousers"

"Pardon" ??  I looked at him half expecting him to start being rude......

"Well it's frozen duck actually.  I'm cooking it for a family dinner"

I told him I could not eat duck as I like them too much.

He replied that he likes cows  and I replied back that I like cows and that is why I do not eat them.

He asked me if I liked Peppa Pig. I was warming to him now.  I said 'I do but some people are trying to get Peppa Pig banned'.  He asked why?  I would have explained, but I was afraid I may offend some Muslim person who takes umbrage at Peppa Pig so I simply said it's deemed racist by some.

My son sent me a text. As I was reading it he asked me about my phone.  I told him my children had bought it for me for Christmas, and it is very nice :)

Then he asked me if my Louis Vuitton bag was real.  I knew he was doing the same thing to me as I was to him - working me out  Rich?  Posh?  Common but rich??? I said 'yes;' but it is old.  He told me his knapsack was LV - or at least the label was :)  He asked me if I were a posh bird. I smiled at that.

If I tell you what he was wearing you might not believe me, but I'll have a go.

He had some cord trousers on which looked as if they needed a good wash.  His jacket was scruffy and worn, and he had one of those woollen hats on with the long braids down the front.  I call them 'Leeds Loiner' hats.  They are generally worn by youths.

He was a picture.  I asked him how old he was.  He told me he was 88.  I asked him if his legs were good, and he said 'yes with the help of my stick'.  The stick had a label tied on with his name and address on it.

He looked bemused at me.  I was really enjoying his company by now.   I asked him if he was fully compus mentus and at that he laughed.  I said  'are you a hippie'?  He laughed even more.

I asked him if he was eccentric.  He said he didn't think he was but other people said so.

I agreed with that.  I have the same problem.  :)

Then, just as we were beginning to get along in the most peculiar but entertaining of ways, it was his stop.  So off he got with his frozen duck down his trousers, and a load of bags of plants and paraphernalia.

As he stood on the pavement we waved at one another, and my day was infinitely better for meeting this lovely, friendly, unassuming and tolerant of my (fun/rudeness) gentleman.  I'll probably never see him again, and that is my fault for having a car:)

You should never judge a book by the cover should you?  A lesson learned.

It's funny, but it's not funny at all, but it is...............

I am not here to judge my client.  I am here for the pleasure factor.  I'll comply with requests and provided they do not  make me feel uncomfortable, I'll willingly and happily play along.

I positively adore and embrace the idea of  'role play;.  Ask any of my clients who enjoy this and they will tell you that I get totally into it and add my own dialogue.  Sometimes I surprise myself how easily I slip into 'role', and take the play to another level.  This is because I am enjoying myself.

Please let me be clear on the 'role play' thing.  If someone sends me a script which is long and involved, and includes him saying one thing and me saying something back to which he responds etc etc, and then of course he will do this and I will do that...   That is NOT role play.  It's something different, and it's about domination which I do not like.
I won't be told what to do in some rigid script that treats me as if I'm an actress on the casting couch - literally...  however that is a good role play situation isn't it?  *thinks*

So the answer to that is  'no, I won't'.  I won't even read your bloody script.  what do you think I am - a dummy?

Ask me for 'roleplay' and I'll join in wholeheartedly.  Give me a scenario and I'm away with it, and I'll do the dialogue thing as I go along.

I don't discriminate. I don't mind what your idea of a sexy scenario is provided it is not too shocking for me, and believe me I am not easily shocked :) I have some filthy fantasies going on in my head which are just plain dirty, and also very wrong :)

It's the 'wrong' that is the turn on...  I think this is where good porn is successful, because it pushes boundaries, shocks you and excites you.

OBVIOUSLY....  there are some things I will not go along with,  for any number of reasons  - main one being - I simply don't want to..  Believe me, having sex with a horse has been suggested.
Horses just don't do it for me sexually I'm afraid.

Now we get to the other stuff such as dressing up for the role play.  I had a fabulous time only recently interviewing a guy for a marathon, just to see if he was.. y'know...  fit....  and   a full man..  you get the idea...  and for that one I wore tiny panties and a sleeveless yellow jacket (the kind you slip on over your suit when visiting a building site)  that a client left behind, naked legs and extremely high heels.

I looked at my body in the mirror in the sleeveless jacket and was turned on.  I may have some photos taken soon to show just that!

The interview was successful, and he passed the test with flying colours especially the part where he had to prove he was a full man and not just a woman pretending to be a man - I had to take a 'sample'.

After we had finished, he left and I got dressed and went home.  As I stepped into the lift I got a surprise.  My face was flushed and I looked like a woman who had just had sex..................

Anyway...  this all leads to  something I read this morning about a school where the head demands that girls wear trousers to stop the male teachers from being distracted.

Bravo that headteacher.  You have it right on the button!

I can remember going into the girls toilets and rolling up the waistband of my skirt as far as I could.

Now imagine that with a pair of white knee socks and my legs?....  The poor teacher stands no chance really.

I see clients who ask for all sorts of things..  it is what turns them on.  It makes a good punt into a very good punt, and it could be something as simple as a request for a negligee or stockings and suspenders, or socks, or nothing... or a short skirt.. the list is endless, and wonderful and if I can oblige and more importantly if I want to, then I will.

Now........  I have seen teachers who require the schoolgirl look, so I know for a fact that schoolgirls know they are turning someone on by dressing like this.   I see professional men who require the 'sexy secretary' look.  I know what does it for them.. seeing it all day at work, knowing they can't do anything except look.

With schools it ids different.  A male teacher can get sacked for even looking and never work again as a teacher.
Why should a man who has trained for years to become a teacher be distracted from doing a bloody good job by a pupil looking like a hooker?  I am exaggerating I know, but you get the idea.

It's all here.    What do you think??  I say 'Bravo that male teacher who dared to report how he felt'

I expect somebody will object.  Someone always does don't they?

Sunday, 10 May 2015

This is how you fight back when you know people are talking about you and not being honest

Myths about working girls :-

All working girls are drug addicts

All working girls are alcohol dependent

All working girls live in council houses and are on benefits thus meaning they get rent free accommodation and don't have to pay council tax either

All working girls have different children to different fathers

You can't trust a working girl with a secret

A working girl will run to the papers if she thinks you are famous

Working girls do not pay tax

Working girls spread disease

Gosh ain't we skanky then !

Now change the words 'working girl'  and substitute them with politician

*you can SMILE now*

Anomalies :-  I have never heard of a working girl with a duck house.  A duck pout but never a house for her ducks.

Facts about working girls :-

Working girls are doing this for the money

Some working girls actually enjoy their work

Some working girls like to party *and that means drugs*...  but only some.

Some working girls probably will be alcohol dependent *but I bet politicians beat them hands down on that one*

Some working girls pay tax and some don't just like the rest of society !

Some working girls will be on benefits and cheating the system *once again the word 'politician' springs to mind here*.. but not all of us are like this

Some working girls probably do help to spread disease - just like their clients !

I could go on..........

More facts about working girls

Some of them,  who when  waaay past their sell by date due to being at the back of the queue when God handed out looks ,some of them who are older, tubbier, hard faced  (usually the ones who say they are ex-models)  or the ones with the thinning hair who used to be brunette but now state 'fair' as their hair colour.. 'cos it ain't really any colour at all.. ah... you know -the mucho older ones with the pot bellies yeah those.............   they either turn to politics or domination - or both.  Laugh Out Loud. I'm not sure which is the biggest copout actually. the pot belly, the ugliness of person and nature, or just plain old jealousy.

If I were a man seeking domination I would look for - at the very least - a good looking one to beat pictures of chemists on my bottom.  If I were a man seeking domination I would not look for someone who failed as a working girl and needed to dominate to drum up a few more gullible clients and donations for the cause of Me..

Do working girls tell lies?

Hell yes - some of them unfortunately do.  Some of them are so double edged they pose as a working girl and a politician !  Can you imagine this??

Is this industry corrupt?  No more than any other really, but we get the bad press, and then take the flak for any given situation usually brought  about by some politician using us as an excuse because they haven't got the handle of the drugs situation so they blame prostitutes...........  blah blah blah and unfortunately some of us exacerbate the situation by our actions/lies/subterfuge, drug abuse, and pot bellies.

*Not guilty yer honour*

Where's Judge Rinder when you need him...........

*looks hopeful*

*would like those people aforementioned to go away*   Really would.

Saturday, 9 May 2015

Politics again ...Bleurgh

What a shame the Labour Party is in such a mess.

What a shame Ed Miliband shafted his brother and what sweet justice now as he has to go off with his tail between his legs.

But what a shame they are so crap.  The Labour Party used to be a party for the common man, but they are closet Tories aren't they?

What a shame they stopped being principled and strong

What a crying shame Cameron got back in all by himself.  He should not have been allowed to.

What a shame the Tories don't look after the tax payers - the ordinary folks like you and me, the faceless majority who fund everything.

What a shame he looks after the rich and then does not deal with the rest properly.  I would like to bet that the average working man in this country earns something in the region of anywhere between 18 to 25K.

These are the people who fund everything from infrastructure, to defence, to the massive problem we have these days with the benefits system, the inequality of the education system and the poor old NHS huffing and puffing it's way to closure

And we sanctioned Cameron to go ahead with that.

I didn't, but to my shame I didn't vote for the party I really wanted  because I couldn't.

What a shame we don't value what matters eh?

What a shame you can't vote with your heart and have to reduce yourself to tactical voting to stop bloody Labour getting in.

Proportional representation please.  Give the common man a chance.  What a bloody shame about Nigel Farage - the man who said what we all think, but didn't have the balls to vote for as it would have given Ed number 10, and his mate from over the borders, a key each.

What a shame about Nick Clegg.  He seems like a decent sort to me.  I love the way Cameron thanked him for being the sacrificial lamb every time anything went wrong - he was the whistle blower after the event, delivering the bad news like he was told to.

"Read from my script and don't put anything in without running it past me Nick"

"Yes David"   "Please don't bum me gain this evening - it's sore from the University fees being shoved up it"

Why after five years haven't they done something to make us feel good?  Anything at all..

Why did we let them back in?

Easy answer because we could never let Labour in.

Now we have to sit back and watch them decimate the NHS, and sell off anything they can possibly get away with including our roads to the Chinese.

Bring back the old Labour Party.  Bring back the common ideal of a decent days pay for a decent days work.  let us be able to go to the doctor when we are ill and not after we have self healed weeks later.

Take the taxes from everyone in proportion it is only fair if we want an equal society.

Look after the NHS.  Look after  it properly.  Dentistry should never have been privatised to the state where people can't afford to look after their teeth, and the NHS dentists are taking no more patients.

Stop immigrants from being able to have what we have left of free medical care.  If they want to live here.  and why wouldn't they?  It's l;ike winning the lottery living here with all the freebies paid for by you amd me.   They should pay to see the doctor as they have to where they originate from.

Harsh??   You bet it's harsh when we are now reaping the benefits of immigration got out of hand.

I'm not even going to mention the likes of Nicola Sturgeon because the hatred of this conniving woman is burning the ends of my fingers thus rendering me unable to type any longer.