Friday, 23 January 2015


In my baking cupboard I have every device and implement known to man for the making of cupcakes.
I have silicone baking cases, and pretty paper cases and plungers to give out the correct amount of mixture in each case.  I have icings and decorations, a layered tray for the display of the precious cupcakes, and tins for the storing of...............

When I was a child we called them 'buns'.  I am sure they tasted every bit as nice, without all of that sickly icing they pile on the top.

When you think about it, someone must have made an awful lot of money by taking something that already existed in one guise and totally changing it into something far more desirable.

Clever eh?

Monday, 19 January 2015

Does the cliche 'you get what you pay for' really apply?

It seems to me that this little phrase is used by those who like to pay more for goods as a guarantee of quality, and also by the seller of those goods !

I'm not talking about me here.............. although, since this is my blog, I might as well say that at £160 for an hour of my time I am not cheap by anyone's standards.
There are ladies who are cheaper.  That is up to them.  Nobody who comes to see me complains about my level of service, and people return.  This must be because they feel I am worth it.  There are some who would not even consider seeing me purely because of the fee.  It is a free market economy and the customer can go where he likes.
 I do not rip people off.  Clients are safe in my place.  They know I will not rob them, or have a pimp waiting to take the cash, and they know I will not clock watch or short change them by being mean. They know I am honest.      
I feel that for what I provide I am cheap at half the price.  I have a formula that works, and that formula is me.  There may be cheap copies, but that is all they are...  copies.

Enough about me.  I'm actually talking about supermarkets !

Some years ago a 'Netto' appeared in our local town.  It was a scruffy joint, and amongst some basic items it sold a lot of German products.  When you went in there you had to look hard for what you wanted because it was something of a jumble sale.  Nothing was in it's right place.  Even the staff looked like strangers to soap.  Their uniforms were dirty and scruffy, and the place was not clean.

Nobody admitted to going in there, and I heard my daughters friends saying they would not be seen dead in there.  There was a song the children used to sing

"N E T T O...  we all shop at 'NETTO' !
Shop all day
Shop all night
Come out with  bag of shite"

Urban myth coupled with what you actually saw, made people wary of shopping there and this was great for the local supermarket.  There were stories of rats in the shop and cockroaches, and that was just the staff :-)  People said it was a shop for scratters and benefit scroungers, so going in there was not something you wanted anyone to see...

Slowly, bit by bit people began to venture in and buy the odd thing.   You might see someone you knew going in and the ball started rolling.  It took time to get established.  People are by nature wary and suspicious aren't they?

Okay -it was scruffy, and it did look as if the floor never got washed, and yes the staff were scruffy, but I could go in there and buy all the staples at a much better price than my local supermarket, and after I had been going in there for a while, I started to try other things.  Some items were equally as good as the branded names, and some were not.  You got to know what was worth buying and what was better left on the shelf.

One evening I went in with my youngest children and they were very well behaved and quiet.  I did my shopping and when we came out and got into the car, they showed me just why they had been so good.  They had pulled all the keys off the corned beef tins........................

As time went along, I combined my shopping into two lots.  I would shop in Netto on a Friday evening, and then the rest of my shopping would be bought over the week in the other supermarket.  I spent a great deal less.

Netto was a good place to shop and it was growing.  They built a new supermarket with a car park in another part of town.  This was great news for shoppers,  because the other supermarket now had no monopoly and had to watch it's prices. The two seemed to work in some sort of harmony, and then ASDA bought Netto, and by now I had moved.

I don't want to shop at Lidl or Aldi.  I don't want another Netto which is in effect what they are.  I like shopping at my local ASDA.  I do not like Tesco ot Morrisons, but I do think that all these supermarkets have had it too good for too long.
I think they have had the farmer by his bollocks over milk prices and why?  Because they can.  The thought of buying enough milk to fill a bath for £1 is enough to get some folks through the door it seems.

An item that costs £3 one week is now down to £1.50 this week, but next week it's back up to £3.50.

They make their own rules and their own laws.  They don't fulfill the promises they make, and they don't like it when someone else comes along and makes them look like the money grabbing liars they all really are.

There is room for all in this world.  I know this as a working girl.  They can all live alongside one another, and the cheaper foreign imports have shown they have the power to make the giants lower their prices.  I would not want to shop at Aldi or Lidl./  Why should I line the pockets of Angela Merkel when she already has more than enough?

I'll stick to ASDA.  It's near to where I live and since the arrival of these other supermarkets, the pricing structure has altered somewhat, and that is good for all.

As far as my price is concerned, it won't be going down, but the level of service and the human element will always be the same.

I am not  packet of cornflakes am I?


Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Strike that last blog entry

or at least some of it..............

I'm saying this because I am about as honest as a prostitute can be.  What I offer is honest.  The way I market myself is honest.. it's just the finer details that I keep to myself or distort if asked.

Apart from that I'm what you see.  I don't put on an act, and I don't pretend to be busy if I'm not.

I don't advertise all sorts of weeirdo shit to get the punters interested.  If you want squirting services go away............  For one thing I don't, won't and can't - and even if I could I would be disgusted with myself.  What an affliction :(..

Imagine looking at a cream cake in a shop window and drooling all down my leg.........  YUK !

What was wrong with  good old fashioned sweaty horny sex that girls felt the need to invent things to hook the guys up and wind 'em in.............  this ain't fishing you know and I am not anyone's piece of cod.

I won't piss on you either.. not in this gaff.......  *strokes the wood flooring*

I love my job.  I love meeting up and having fun times.  I love to chat and laugh and get naked.

I'm not lying about how I look.  I'm happy with my body and more than happy with my mind.

I take people at face value too which in this industry is something of a disability as people involved in this biz can be  disingenuous and duplicitous and downright horrible.

What the hell is wrong with you today Sarah???

Something happened to me that does not happen to this girl and I'll tell you why.

I advertise in a fair manner.  I treat people with respect.  I don't talk a load of hogwash, and I don't lie.

I answered an email from someone who led me to believe he was intending to see me today.  He told me he had a hearing problem so when he got the the vantage point for me, he would text rather than call.  this was fine as I would be watching from my window anyway.

I got down to my place this morning with minutes to spare.  There was nobody on the street.  I would have invited you in if you had been there.  I was wearing my day clothes.  It was only a pair of skin tight leggings and a t shirt but the January regime is beginning to pay off and I was feeling rather slim if I say so, and I thought foolishly that I would let you see what I am like in real life and make you  cuppa and a chat before we got started...............  only you didn't show did you - even though we had emailed earlier this morning.

And did you know I don't clock watch?  the tea and company would have been on me as a gesture to the day...  sunshine and my blissfully good mood............

If this was you and you got cold feet why didn't you say?

If this was another girl trying to waste my time because she is not busy then she needs to look to her own business and leave mine alone because strangely enough - an experience like this won't stop me from anything.

Maybe you should remove all the  guff from your profile..  wipe up the 'squirt' from your leg, change your knickers while you are at it, and loose a bit of the flab.. I don't know..  don't ask me,  Don't book me either and have me running to my flat for a no show that you were probably pissing yourself over wiv yer mates............

This person said they had a hearing difficulty.  This was an insult to those who do.

As it was, I had a cuppa and tidied up from last night, and actually physically took a couple of calls on my work 'phone, so it was not a wasted journey after all.

Now as for you...............  you silly person.  You will never get to see me, so it's your loss and not mine.

Have a great day now, I know I will be.

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

It may shock you to learn that telling the truth in this business is not always advantageous

... to either party.

Punting by the very nature of the word is a gamble.  It is always a gamble no matter how well you may think you know that person - or how many  times you may have seen them, this is  a business arrangement between two parties who are meeting in a clandestine way.

My part of that arrangement as far as I am concerned is to agree to provide time and companionship and be discreet.  The client's part is to partake and pay.    Anything else that happens is purely down to chemistry and goodwill from us both.

I don't want to be your girlfriend.  I don't want you to leave your wife.  I have a life outside of this as you do.
I will not call you after you have seen me.  If you want to see me again it is you who makes the move to arrange an appointment.  I will not text you between appointments to ask you how you are, or tell you how horny I am feeling.  I won't send messages telling you I am available.
I will not compromise your real life by crossing a line.  This is why you see a prostitute - so you can have your fun and get on with your life.

When we are together and have conversation, anything you tell me is forgotten  after you have left, unless you are a regular client and we get to know a little about one another.  Any conversation other wise is entirely forgettable.

I may have told you my real name.  Did I?  How do you know I am telling you the truth?  The answer is you do not.  It does not matter what I tell you if I am giving you a nice time.  I have lost track of the amount of clients who have told me how old they are, and to make them feel more comfortable, I have said I am the same age.

I have never told a soul what my age is, and won't do it now.

Nobody in this business knows what my real name is.  Even to those other working girls who thought they knew it - they did not.

The point I am trying to make is that none of it matters.  When you punt, you step out of the real world and into a fantasy.  The lady is part of that fantasy.  In the real world she lives a real life just like you do.  You are not paying to learn anything about her in the real world are you?

On some message forums they harp on about prostitutes telling lies.  They lie to protect their families, and their privacy is every bit as important as yours - their client.

If clients tell lies, then so be it.  They are doing the same thing.  The lies are not going to harm, anyone are they?  Those are 'white lies'.

I have had stalkers in the past.  They have gleaned info from me after hours of talking, and then have taken things further by researching me.  I learned a  hard lesson the day someone found out where I lived.  He did that by deliberately setting out to find out and not by coming across my details by accident.

Yes there are some people who are like this, and this is why we tell the odd lie here and there.

The point I am making is that it isn't just the girls who lie - the guys do it too.  It's part of punting.

In life there are always good and bad people.  It's no different in this biz.  Why pay a prostitute and then tell her who you are?  You might as well have an affair :)

Sunday, 4 January 2015

Resolution time again

I'm great at this sort of thing, aren't you?

This year will be my best ever for starting things or to be fair - continuing things I already did or do, but do them to bloody death, until I start doing something else.

So, at the moment, and having already started, here I am up to spec as they say with the promises to myself to do better at everything I do, and some things I haven't even thought of............

I'll walk my dogs more come rain or shine, come hairstyle or no, and I will never in my life time allow them to eat another scrap or morsel even of human food (unless it is a bit of meat or bone).

No more left over dinners, no more biscuits or bits off of my sandwich.  No more licks of ice cream, no more letting them out after I have fed the birds..................  fool.

No more mashed potato and gravy.  How bloody stupid.

Dog food = a longer life and better teeth.  Dog food alone means no more poo in the kitchen in the morning when I get up, and dog food only means they will lose weight.

I noticed lately they are all looking a bit porky.

Exercise for them and me and sexercise for me.  I'll be as thin as a bloody rake.............  *no I won't*.  I wouldn't want to be anyway.........

I'll bake more.  I'll make cupcakes (but I won't eat them)  I'll be more adventurous in the kitchen, and do you mind?  I mean in the cooking area, not THAT area thank you.  We'll have none of that unless you are paying :-)

I will spend one hour per day doing something constructive in my garden.  I have decided.  That way I won't have to spend all weekend in it working when I could be enjoying a glass of wine and sitting in it being lady muck.

I will have more time for friends.  Trouble with this job is, friends go by the board because of all the secrecy surrounding what I do.  I'll start up time management or something similar.  I'll buy a diary but I'll have to leave it at the flat.  No problem, I will have to go there to read it !

Go to the bloody gym woman!  Don't join up and think it's all done now.  You actually have to go in order to make changes :)

Be harder with my children.  The bastards walk all over me.. and no they aren't paying me either :)

Do more things......... weekends away, concerts etc etc..

I'll never cram it all in, but it'll be fun trying.

S x

Monday, 29 December 2014

I've already made one resolution for the coming year

...To be precise - the end of it actually..............

I'm gonna pay someone not to kill a turkey.  Oh please let the bloody thing live.

We went out for Christmas dinner. It was a last minute - not to be turned down invitation and it was amazing. The company was the same as always - albeit in a different location, the food was sublime, and the day was perfect. Later on, after having eaten our fill, dranken the place dry and outstayed our welcome by about five hours, we went home.  I think it was the dancing that put the tin hat on it, that and the sliding up and down in our tights on the wooden floors, come to think of it I think we were wrestling as well which would explain why I lost something crucial to my well being  that I can't seem to locate at all at home..

Ah well that's Christmas for you.  It's no good it you don't show yourself up or piss someone off or wee yourself, and I managed all three:)

 I had, though - already purchased a turkey, in anticipation of being 'mine host'
It was residing in a bucket in a brine mixture of dry cider and cranberry juice, with spices, fruit and onions, ginger and herbs, and it looked so beautiful and artistic, sitting there in its bucket, it was  a shame to remove it and then crucify it, which  I scandalously did.

When we ate a second Christmas dinner and only because I had bought this poor turkey, I went to great effort to make sure the meal was as nice as the one we had eaten the day before.  I fussed over it, did a lot of Googling research :-)  and decided to stuff it in every orifice, with home-made chestnut stuffing  at one end and sage and onion at the other.  I rubbed herb butter on its breast and legs and then I made a sort of tent with tin foil and roasted/steamed  it for bloody ages.

After a long time I removed the foil so it could brown, and then I produced it at the table, feeling very proud of my efforts, only to find that although the breast was cooked and moist  the legs were not, and neither was the rest of it, so we had our meal and then I put it back into the oven to finish off.

When it was done, nobody was interested, as it was by now fucked, so I chucked it out onto the  patio  and let the dogs have it.

I forgot about the stuffing......................

They ate the lot.

 I made the discovery later in the evening.   As we were watching the TV the canine flatulence started.  I can't even begin to describe the smell of a bull terrier farting after it has eaten chestnut stuffing.  It was more of a stench than a smell, and it continued until I went to bed in desperation as by now I had a terrible headache :)

Next morning I was greeted by piles of runny 'stinking to high heaven' ( as my mother would say) shit, in the kitchen (all my own fault I know).

So that turkey lived and died in vain.  It was an insult to turkeys as a race, and will be the very last time I ever buy and cook one in my lifetime.

If you think about it - it kind of got me back..........  I ought to be ashamed of myself anyway, I mean..  I do not eat meat and then I subscribe to the mass slaughter of birds at Christmas.  What's that all about eh???


Next year  I'll just buy two chickens :-)

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Well it's the night before the night before Christmas

and I would like to wish you a peaceful and happy time x